Dave 2016 Fit Blog: Week Two- Welcome to America!! Where it costs more to eat less

I’m week two into my “transformation”. Hardcore cardio working out! Shredding my lettuce. Ripping my core. Planking, jumping, running and [the most constant] complaining about it the entire time. I’ve lost 12.5 pounds in 11 days and my ass is raw from the exodus. Colon cleansing/spiritual scrub. I’m as hollowed out as a whistle.

Another component is eating smart. No need to ponder the window stickers at the local Taco Bell anymore. I’m not allowed. Ingesting death meat is supposedly bad for you? Whatever. Sorry, you lovely double-beefy, triple-cheesy, queso-chalula Chalupa, I shun thee.
Since I am now relegated to healthy smart-carb, high-protein, low-fat macro nutrients I have quickly noticed that my food purchasing cost has doubled. Organic is a dastardly shakedown. Let’s pay 6 bucks for a loaf of artisan chia seed bread that has zero preservatives and begins to mold four hours after purchase because IT HAS NO FUCKING PERSERVATIVES IN IT!!!

Kale chips. Free-Range Turkey Jerky.  Hand Expressed goat’s milk with zero antibiotics added. Gluten Free yogurt covered pretzels; only $6.99! Sugar-free sugar cubes. Vegan mayonnaise called “veganaise”. Clever.

The costs mount and it becomes apparent that living well is going to hit the bank account hard. No wonder we love the $5 buck Box at Taco Bell.

Then I realized we live in a country where we have obese poor people. Poverty-stricken families addicted to 99 cent bacon cheeseburgers. I’m addicted to 99 cent bacon cheeseburgers! Seems backwards, doesn’t it?

Oh, well. I’m taking money out of my house and moving on. Let’s get physical!!

Final note: I was able to see my penis this week!! Just the tip though. Just the tip.



Tags from the story
, , ,
Written By
More from David Pinson

A New and Improved Me

I’ve been thinking a lot about cosmetic surgery lately. I found some...
Read More

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *