The Amish: Haven’t they suffered enough?
Already deprived of mustaches, now the Amish are being subjected to Brazen Beard Theft (BBT). This just in from the New York Times:
BERGHOLZ, Ohio — Myron Miller and his wife, Arlene, had been asleep for an hour when their 15-year-old daughter woke them and said that people were knocking at the door. Mr. Miller, 45, a stocky construction worker and an Amish bishop in the peaceful farmlands of eastern Ohio, found five or six men waiting. Some grabbed him and wrestled him outside as others hacked at his long black beard with scissors, clipping off six inches. (read more)
What’s curiously omitted from the article, is that this man was seen leaving the area on the night in question.
Senior sources have also told daveandjames.com the spate of BBTs is contributing to a growing number of defections in the Amish community, as reported here by The Onion:
LANCASTER, PA—After centuries of enduring harsh, spare living conditions and voluntarily shunning modern amenities such as microwave ovens and red clothing, Amish leaders announced Monday that Amish across the U.S. will abandon their traditional ways and adapt to modern American life. “Fuck that,” said Amish Father Ezekiel Schmid at a Lancaster press conference. “This is pure bullshit.” (read more)
Dave and James: Coughing up the stories that matter, no matter what.
